So I try to add it online. The form shows $8/month for the answer call service, and $2/month for fixed call forwarding, for a total of $12. Huh? When I add 8 and 2, I don't get 12! But Verizon does. And they're a monopoly, so my other option, I suppose, is to go buy an answering machine. Or hack their systems and teach them some basic math. Then the next page gives a total of $10/month (uh, okay), plus $10 setup (hey, that's not cricket!), and the handy explanation (in orange): "Please note that product availability and pricing may be inaccurate." Well, DUH! And the helpful text (in bold, and orange, with a helpful exclamation-point-in-a-triangle icon: "To place an order, you'll need to speak to a customer service representative." And an OK button that brings up an alert reading the same.
So I call back, get the usual rigamarole (say your phone number, we're gonna upsell you, what do you want), get a person, explain what I'm doing, she tells me I didn't pay my bill (huh?), but forwards me to Service, who (7th time now) wants my phone number and name. They ask me if I've talked to Collections, and inform me that there's a restriction on my account. I explain that Collections told me that there's not reason for this "restriction", and said they had removed it. 5 minutes of elevator music ("With You I'm Born Again", originally by Billy Preston and Syreeta, apparently performed by 1001 Strings, and "Close To You", originally by the Carpenters, also a 1001 Strings sort). Block removed again. Tried to sell me Verizon LD service, and I'll have to re-initialize everything, but I did get them to waive the re-activiation fee and confirm $10/month, which they'll pro-rate.
And people wonder why I rant about Verizon. This sort of yak shaving happens every time I have to deal with them.