February 14th, 2008

your head here

Stoopid marketeers

I participate in online marketing surveys with a few companies, mostly to let corporate America know what I want them to do. I also get a few bucks and the odd bonus or two.

Today, I got one from a third-party outfit (Penn, Schoen and Berland Associates Inc.). I followed the links and was told

We have detected that you are using a MacOS operating system .
In order to continue with this survey please use the following operating systems(s)

We have detetected that you are using a SAFARI 5.0 .
In order to continue with this survey please use the following browser(s)

This seemed silly, I'm not about to change operating systems to take a survey! I'm doing you a favour, you nitwits! But I was willing to try another browser (as long as it's not IE), so I fired up Firefox, only to get the "please use Window[sic]" message again.

Dream on, you wretched stinking ugly bags of mostly water.

I continued reading email, until I got to one of the Russian UBE I get for some reason I can only guess at. This one had the usual Cyrillic with lots of exclamation points, but embedded in that was the eye-catching phrase


I'm not sure what to make of that one. I tried feeding it to Sherlock, resulting in amusing but unenlightening tidbits such as: "Down the smallness of city!", "In you nervous tick with the sound of telephone call begins!", and "For the desperate: bath with the brooms from the snowdrops and the song of March tomcats."

Um, whatever.