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Virginia takes the next step

20 January 2008 AP

It's official: Virginia is for lovers

Continuing along the tracks blazed by the amendment limiting marriage to "a union between one man and one woman", the Virginia legislature has completed deliberations on further defining what it is to be married. The new requirements are strict and specific, and Rob Marsnall, the state delegate from Prince William County who originated both laws, is pleased with the new definition.

"Marriage is based on love," stated Marsnall at an impromptu press conference at his home, "and is designed for procreation".

Accordingly, couples will be tested for love, using both polygraph and other physiological tests, including blood tests for hormones indicating love and EEG tests for brainwaves indicating loving feelings. Additionally, married couples will be required to demonstrate willingness to procreate by having monitored intercourse within their first year of marriage, or risk having their marriage annulled by the state.

"Suspect" marriages, those involving resident aliens, financial issues, and existing children, will be subject to extra scrutiny.

Early reports indicate that these new requirements will meet stiff competition by both voters and many politicians, as the administrative costs associated with the testing and record keeping, along with the legal issues raised by abrubt annullments, will be heavy. The increase in government oversight into peoples' private lives will also be an unpopular issue, but Marsnall is undeterred.

"People have been getting a free ride for insurance and other benefits for too long with their sham and convenience marriages," he explained, "and it's time to put an end to this. God fearing people will welcome the knowledge that their married friends and neighbors have true, blessed marriages."

Such high visibility, emotionally charged issues will provide a rich backdrop to the 2008 Presidential elections, and the candidates' views on one state's mission to define exactly what constitutes "marriage", will make for some entertaining and enlightening debate.

Tags: laws, marriage, religious nuts, virginia
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